How Do Status and Community Drive the Enneagram Social Instinxt?

The Enneagram goes far beyond its nine basic types. While most people identify with types like “The Helper” or “The Achiever,” some may not fully resonate because of the unique role instincts play in shaping their type. In this episode, we focus on the social instinct, which fuels our drive to connect, belong, and be part of a community.

Social types, whether introverts or extroverts, find purpose through relationships and group dynamics. From organizing school events to hosting neighborhood gatherings, social types are the natural “connectors” who thrive when creating inclusive spaces. Even kids with a dominant social instinct are quick to make friends and often lead group activities, finding joy in being part of the “herd.”

This instinct isn’t always easy to recognize in introverts. For example, my daughter, who is a Type 8 with the social instinct, loves group activities but feels awkward in them. Despite this, she always seeks a best friend or enjoys being part of a team, showing the subtle ways the social instinct manifests, even in quieter personalities.

In relationships, the social instinct impacts how partners interact, especially if both prioritize group connections over one-on-one time. It’s essential for social types to nurture their self-preservation and one-on-one instincts to build deeper connections and balance their innate drive for social belonging.

If you or someone you love identifies with the social instinct, exploring the specific subtypes of types 7, 8, and 9—often misunderstood “countertypes”—can be eye-opening. Tune in for more insights, and don’t miss the next episode as we discuss the 1-on-1 (or sexual) instinct and its impact on relationships!

Wendy Gossett is a family and relationship coach who uses psychology and neuroscience to help families connect. With over 10,000 hours of experience and a Master’s degree in education, she draws from her journey raising neurodivergent children and years of Myers-Briggs and Enneagram research to guide parents through their own unique struggles.